I interviewed a family friend, who wished to remain anonymous, in order to get personal experiences with the Chinese elderly and their belief in losing face in terms of refusing to receive medical attention.
She immigrated to America in the mid-60's with her parents at a young age, so while she is more Americanized, her parents and the people of that same generation did not assimilate the American culture as easily as the immigrant youth, therefore holding on to such beliefs as losing face. As they grew older, the concepts they held on to from their homeland proved to be detrimental, and in many cases, fatal.
Yes, in terms of bringing shame to a person or their family, right?
Correct. Do you know of anyone, particularly from the first generation Chinese immigrants, who refused to go to the doctor because they did not want to discuss their problems with others?
Yes, as a matter of fact, my husband's father died because he did not want to go to the doctor. For the longest time his father was constipated and couldn't use the bathroom. In fact, I think he couldn't use the bathroom for about a month but he wouldn't talk about it and wouldn't go to see the doctor about it. He didn't know that he had cancer, all he knew was that he couldn't use the bathroom. He was more willing to endure the physical pain than to actually go for help. The cancer spread very quickly, and by the time he eventually went to the doctor the cancer had spread to his liver and he died.
Do you think that he would have been able to live had he been willing to see a doctor sooner?
I think he would have been able to live a longer life but because of his stubbornness and because he didn't want to show that he was hurting, the cancer couldn't be helped. I think if he had gone to the doctor right away something could have been done, but because he waited so long the situation became too much to treat. The family even told him that he needed help, my husband told him that he needed to see a doctor about it but he kept saying that he was fine and that he didn't want to go to the doctor. In the end, its what killed him.
Actually, I know another woman whose mother has been having some leg problems, I think she said that her mother had a growth in the heel of her foot. When she went to the doctor, the doctor suggested that she use a walker, but her husband wouldn't let her use it. When my friend wanted to put a rail in their shower so that her mother would be able to hold on to it instead of slipping, her father wouldn't let her put it in.
Why do you think her husband was so against using aids to walk and to support themselves?
I think its just that generation in general, they don't want to be seen as growing old or being handicapped because its something so shameful. Maybe when they were growing up they saw people who needed help walking or moving around and they saw that as being a shameful thing, so now when they are getting old they don't want to be viewed as being unable to walk because they think that other people would look down on them.
I guess that ties in with the concept of losing face, how they see people who are old and in need of wheelchairs or walkers as being shameful.
Exactly.
My brother-in-law, in fact, had a pinched nerve in his spine, so he had a lot of back problems but he won't see a doctor. It hurt him to walk, sit and even sleep, and he had these pains for over ten years. Finally when he went to see a doctor about it because he couldn't handle the pain anymore the doctor told him that he needed a surgery immediately. My husband and I went to go see him after his surgery and he seemed better; he could sit up without pain.
So even your brother-in-law, who isn't in the same generation as your husband's father and your friend's mother, showed signs in the belief of losing face.
Well, even though he is in the same generation as us he grew up in China until he was college-age. So because he didn't grow up here he still has a lot of Chinese beliefs in him.
I know that "losing face" has negative effects on the first generation of Chinese immigrants, but do you think this has any negative effects on the rest of the family, the younger generations who are more open about talking about their problems?
Yes, I think that because that generation is so against shaming themselves and their family, they don't want to talk about their problems to their doctors or even to their own relatives. Even when they do tell their families, they don't want to mention it regularly or talk about it because they are embarrassed or they are ashamed.
My niece, my brother-in-law's daughter, told me that she doesn't even know much about her family's health history. She herself had to ask my husband (her uncle) how her grandfather died because her own father does not want to talk about things like that. They never talk about it, but now she needs to know her family's medical history in order to be aware of what diseases may run in the family. She has to know in order to be able to take care of herself and her own children.
Losing face doesn't just affect the elderly generation; while it prevents them from receiving healthcare, it also proves to be detrimental to the future generations who don't know about their family's history of illness. Thus, it becomes important not just for the younger generations to urge their parents and grandparents to go to the doctor when they feel pain, but to also actively seek answers as to why their family members have died and whether it was because of diseases that could possibly be passed on from generation to generation.
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